Mansion House At Ud Holdem Absolute Poker

Your Thoughts On This Very Screwed Up Relationship Scenario...?

Jettie-Rowe, 2007-07-04 13:49:57
I was supposed to get married on Sept 15th of this year. I just found out that my fiance (now ex-fiance) kissed her boss at work (100% confident it was a kiss, and a passionate one). When I confronted her about it, she lied to my face for days before I was able to dig up enough proof that she couldn't deny. She was deleting calls made to/from him every Thurs (poker night). She was married before and cheated on her first husband with this boss (for over a year; not an isolated incident). The boss is 15 years older, married, and has 2 kids of his own. To make matters worse, her and I bought a house together 9 months ago (in both our names) and neither can afford it on our own. If we refinance it in one of our names, we lose the employee discount we originally got on the loan rate as well (plus we would also now need to purchase mortgage insurance). We would have to sell the house for 10K more today than we bought it for to break even (and the market isn't there). What are your thoughts?Added info here:I have an amazing BS-detector and can tell she is truly sorry for what she's done and I don't think she'd do it again. I love her very much but I have already broken everything off and am sleeping in another bedroom.Good point on the amazing BS detector and then buying a house with her.I thought it was over but I could tell immediately when it happened next time I saw her. That is what I meant. I have an uncanny ability to tell when someone is lying.She was not drunk

2007-07-04 15:28:46 Mitsuko-Roberts wrote: i'd cut my losses and move on - unless you want your heart broken again.

2007-07-04 15:28:37 Kelvin-Millard wrote:

Best to look for someone who won't cheat on you.
In my experience, it's a lot harder for girls who cheat to change than guys who cheat.

2007-07-04 15:29:34 Irwin-Sutorius wrote: with all the wackos out there, i wouldn't be surprised. wow. check the internet for help with the house. i was bored one day and watched an episode on rachel ray where they were talking about breaking up.

who cares about the house, you may wind up losing it all anyway if you stay with her.

no offense or anything, but that is really sick of her. maybe there's something like that for houses. they talked about this website where you could sell an engagement ring if your fiance backed out.

get the hell out man!

the ship took a hit and it's sinking.

2007-07-04 15:30:50 Emanuel-Burnett wrote: well if she cheated on her 1st husband with this guy and u caught her doing the same thing before u got married chances are she's not gonna give this guy up. u could think about renting the house out for a while until u can sell it for what u are wanting for it. but just be glad u found out about her before u said I do. but good luck best wishes to u.

2007-07-04 15:31:47 Deidre-Geyer wrote: you can agree for one of you to stay there with a room mate and refi or sale when the market is better. or you could rent it out for awhile. sorry you had to go through this, that is a bummer.

2007-07-04 15:28:15 Archie-Wood wrote: I'd see about some pre-marital counseling, and couple's counseling. Why is she having this affair? It probably doesn't even have anything to do with you, she probably does love you...but for some reason she can't give up this 'addiction' with her boss/affair mansion house at ud holdem absolute poker poker holdem don herring jr absolute poker. Therapy can help.

2007-07-04 15:29:23 Thomasina-Elsas wrote:

She cheated on her last husband with this man and no has cheated on you with the same man...once a cheater always a cheater..Break it off all the way.
Personally I would take the prof I got to the wife of the man she cheated on you with but that is just me..Break it off and cutt you loss you could probally do better.

2007-07-04 20:36:38 Sage-Ward wrote: you have to be clear with your strategy, which has several fronts:1. wedding or no wedding -- that's your call and you know very well how likely she will do it again2. finance -- how to deal with money if you don't marry her3. revenge?for 2, you have to untangle the finance instead of further tangling it. you can be co-occupant of the house but no marriage and sell it when the market returns. otherwise, find the right exit and take equal loss. but close all joint accounts in banks and credit cards, even living expenses. take this very seriously.for 3, you may generate some satisfactiong going to her boss and threaten exposing him to his company's hr. how bad you want him to suffer and if you want him to do to compensate (don't get caught blackmailing someone)? of course, you are not the husband but the boss won't want the bad press.

2007-07-04 16:14:41 Jamila-Hays wrote: Sell the house cut any losses or split any profits and move on. You state she was married before and cheated with the same man (boss). Do not "cheat" yourself and marry this woman only to find yourself playing "second fiddle" to a relationship that she has obviously been involved in for sometime. I would not like to see this happen to you even though I do not know you personally because it is not a fun place to be. Do yourself one of the best things you can do and let it go, house and all. You should seek to be with someone who wants you and you only. Often a woman will continue a relationship with a married man because they secretly believe that he will leave his current wife...because he will often allude to this when they are together. Statistically and from personal experience this does not happen (seen a girlfriend stay in a relationship for eight years with...yes...a married man.. never left his wife and she lost eight years waiting) and statistics are not in favor of the man leaving the wife. I know this is painful...but look at it for what it really is..she has a history of sorts with this man and until she closes the door on this relationship with him..which should include her switching jobs and staying away from him..including phone calls..no communication and some time has gone by then maybe you stand a change but just know that this could take a long time for her to do and you do not need to be in the picture while she is getting her world straightened out. Good luck.

2007-07-04 15:34:35 Kerry-Kooser wrote:

I am with you in deciding to break off your relationship with her.
She cheated on her first husband.
Now, she cheated on you and in both instances, she was involved with the same man.
I don't blame you for not trusting her anymore.
Be very thankful that you discovered her infidelity before marrying her.
You should sell the house that you and your ex bought, even if the housing market is not very good, to eliminate any reason for her to contact you.

2007-07-04 16:10:47 Consuelo-Fraser wrote:

if you want it to be a success she would have to find another job!
i have been in a relationship with someone who is married and because there is no future you try to replace them.
make a stand for your relationship......stay with her but get what you deserve!
sounds like you want to forgive....you should try if your intuition is in agreement.
i know that she can love you and still be unfaithful.
i tried to move on but it was hard to forget.
you don't deserve to deal with that, it would consume your mind all the time.
it is possible that she loves both of you.

2007-07-04 15:39:26 Darryl-Veith wrote:

well you have answered your own Q there at the end, you believe her and love her, if you do then you have to trust her but, why not go to a solicitor, tell your partner that you want to draw up an agreement, like a pre nup, to state that whoever cheats and there is substantial proof, then 25% of the person at faults part of the house automatically goes to the other.....this will make her and you think twice of cheating, if you do cheat, you not only lose your relationship, you lose half your stake in the house, i hope you have seperate deeds.The other option would be use it as a rental house and split any rent that comes from that rental.
Otherwise one of you take and just pay what you got to.
As for the house, cut your losses, sell it and move on.
She may be genuinely sorry for her actions and/or you may truly be blinded by the love you have for her.
This is bad news for you unless you want to share her with her boss.
She evidently can't resist her boss.
It seems to be a repetitive affair for her, and most likely won't stop with any permanence.
You will suffer the consequences of getting the cart before the horse.

2007-07-04 15:39:12 Erik-Brandenburg wrote: This is what they call a RED FLAG.You could ignore it, and it will most likely happen to you, too.Or....you can make her accountable, which is the only way she will stop.That means: 1. She gets therapy (WITH and without you)2. You put off the wedding until you and the therapist are fully confident that you have found out what her issue is and she's solving it.3. You report this scumball boss to the company (with your girlfriend's sworn testimony) and tell them that you aren't interested in suing, you just think they should do something about men in the workplace having affairs with their MARRIED underlings.4. She gets another job and never sees him or hears from him again. If that means that her cell phone call history is public knowledge for you and she's accounted for every hour of the day, so be it.MAYBE when those four things were ALL complete I'd think about marriage.Otherwise, sell the house, take a loss if you have to, and GET THE HELL OUT. If you don't , it will only get worse.

2007-07-04 15:31:31 Rolande-Powers wrote: Why did she kiss him? poker holdem don herring jr absolute poker. Was she drunk?

2007-07-04 15:37:03 Elton-Earl wrote: First off you need to be thankful you found out about her cheating ways before you married her. The best thing to do with the house in your situation would be to just sell it and both of you get out of it and get a fresh start with that. Sorry for all your aggravation and heartache. It will take time to heal and deal but eventually one day you will be ok and you will find a faithful, decent and wonderful person to spend the rest of your life with.